As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
