I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
