I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
