What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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