yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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