he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
