There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
