gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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