I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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