does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
