That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
