you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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