that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
