well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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