I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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