I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
