Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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