What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
