Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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