You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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