No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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