I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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