Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
