when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize