At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
third nipple confirmed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
