i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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