Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
