He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
