my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
