the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Found the puke drawer
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize