dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
