when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
