you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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