Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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