proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Nobody cheats on THIS.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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