2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
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You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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