ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your penis caused this!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize