is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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