I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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