Little spoons don't ask big questions
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
