I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
