I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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