just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How's work?
Spinning.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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