He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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