If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
