respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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