Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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