Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
