My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
