my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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