he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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