I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
