Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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