I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize