Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
