Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
