yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
