Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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