he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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