can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize